woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
