I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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