I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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