There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
