Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
