I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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