It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
