I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
