may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is my gift to your gina
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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