I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
