What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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