you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
