i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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