oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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