How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
