If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
