umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
