the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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