worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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