Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
