sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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