Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
