It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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