I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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