I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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