she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
