the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
