It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
