She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
