True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
either way he was missing a nipple.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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