Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this boner is exhausting
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The adults are the big ones right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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