I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
