im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
