1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
