Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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