OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
