his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
