Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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