I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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