i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
