What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
