Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize