You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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