So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize