i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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