i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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