Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
