my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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