Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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