Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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