the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize