Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
