College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
