I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
