last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize