ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
