I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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