You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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