Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
