Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
