So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
