I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
