yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
