Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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