I wanna passion pit in your ass
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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