Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am puke
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
