I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
